Enjoy your life change your point of view

One of the most difficult, yet you would think it would be the easiest thing to do is to have an outlook on life that would lead to success and abundance. I believe that our point of view and Focus with Passion is the main ingredient that leads to our enjoyable experiences. 

As exampled below, how do we look at and react to certain situations and what do you think the outcome will be based on what we believe?

"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again? 

In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

Until Next Time - Stay focused on a better you so you can share your creativity and greatness with others.

Ken

Moving Past Fear

There are times when simply thinking positively won’t move you past your fear and anxiety.  There are times when simply plodding it out is the thing you must do.

The Evangelical speaker Joyce Meyer says, “If you’re afraid to do it, just DO IT AFRAID.”  No one will blame you for being fearful—what you will be blamed for is letting that fear immobilize you.  So no matter what it takes, keep moving. 

Fear is much like a quagmire—it slurps at our feet and if we stand still long enough, it begins to suck us down.  It’s hard to get out of, but it is possible.

If you’re stuck in fear as you shoot for success, there are several ways out:

         First, consider the source.  Where did the fear come from?  Have you been dwelling on the difficulties instead of the opportunities?  Have you been listening to those who are cynics and pessimists, instead of coaching yourself with positive words and people?  If so, MOVE ON.  GET AWAY from people and situations that drag you down.

         Second, take your checklist and note what you HAVE accomplished.  Look at your list of goals and the baby steps you’re taking to get there, and on a separate sheet of paper (or a separate document in your computer), begin to list everything you have accomplished.  This will begin to empower you to move on and leave the fear behind.

         Third, take stock of your talents and skills.  Fear often tells us that we “don’t have what it takes…”  Show fear as the liar it is:  list your skills, all your positive attributes.  Then look at the problem again, after you have a new appreciation for your God-given talents and abilities.

         Fourth, don’t underestimate the power of prayer.  Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, there is an amazing power that comes from releasing your fear to a God Who loves you and is looking out for you.  Don’t bottle the fear up—let it go.  You don’t need it anyhow!

         Finally, remember this acronym when facing fear:

o          F= False

o          E= Evidence

o          A=Appearing

o          R=Real

For that’s really what fear is—it is an unrealistic look (false look) at something and attempting to make you believe it (appearing to be real). 

Once you know these things, you’ll be able to move past your fear and on to the next step you need to be successful!

The Right Mental Attitude

You must cultivate the right mental attitude on your road to accomplishment.  Without being overly simplistic, think of “The Little Train Who Could.”  Instead of having an “I Can’t” attitude, replace it with an “I Can!” attitude. 

A positive outlook is necessary to see change coming, to be able to work with the change, and to make the most of whatever change comes down the pike in your life.  If you expect change (but not from a vending machine!), you’ll be in a better position to accept it and make the most of it. 

A fabulous book regarding change and positive attitude is “Who Moved My Cheese?” by Spencer Johnson, MD.

In order to gain right thinking (being positive), you must decide to look at the bright side of life.  Instead of seeing the cloud, see the silver lining in the cloud.  Instead of seeing downsizing as a horrible thing that will plummet you in to bankruptcy and homelessness, consider it an opportunity to look for a better job and a chance to try new skills and career paths that you wouldn’t have had the opportunity to try before.  Don’t be pollyannaish, but do consider all sides of a situation before you adopt a negative perspective.

In order to maintain a positive outlook, you must also be realistic.  For example, if you’ve gained 30 pounds in the last 3 years, it would be highly unrealistic to expect to drop those 30 pounds in 3 weeks.  If you take an honest and realistic assessment of your skills and goals, you’re much more likely to find success in whatever field or career best suits you.

Maintain a cautious optimism as you seek success, not be blindly optimistic about every situation.  There are some situations in which positive thinking cannot overcome the situation you’re faced with. 

Consider Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots; he’s a man who’s in excellent shape.  But if he decided to trade in his helmet and pads for ballet toe shoes, he likely wouldn’t make it, despite his physique.  Blind optimism also puts you at the mercy of con men and charlatans—your optimism must be tempered by context and relevance.

No matter what your abilities are (and they are fabulous!), using them realistically will get you much farther than not.  Your right thinking, paired with your abilities, put you on a course for success—no matter what field you’re in!